Do you speak English? 

The difference between British English and American English is more complex than one may think.  It goes beyond knowing that (in Britain) the word "chips" refers to fries, or that the "tube" is actually the subway (and that a "subway" is actually a small pedestrian underpass that allows walkers to cross a motorway by going under it via a small tunnel, and to a lesser extent, also still a franchised sandwich shop).  When I moved to London I started a list of some language differences.  If you're following along, the newest ones appear at the top...



pants = underwear (usage:  "Make sure you take plenty of clean pants on your trip.") This means you don't really want to say something like "I'm wearing the same pants I wore yesterday." to a group of people from the UK.

suspenders = things that hold up thigh-high women's stockings (usage:  "I saw some sexy lace suspenders in Victoria's Secret but they were pretty expensive.")

bracers = things that hold up men's trousers (usage:  "Robin Williams' comedic trademark in the 1970s was rainbow bracers.")

put the graft in  = work hard

skint = out of money

full of beans = happy, excited  (usage:  "Are you looking forward to your vacation?"  "Yep, I'm full of beans!")

varnish = polish  (usage:  "Ooh, I totally love the color of your nail varnish!")

tongs = curling iron  (like for use in hair styling or curling)

advert = commerical or ad  (this is a pretty obvious one, but still, I rarely hear British people refer to a TV "commercial" - it's an "advert.")

sledge = sled  (usage:  "When they found out school was cancelled the kids got out the sledge and played in the snow all day.")

wanker = i find this hilarious to hear for some reason, but it's a derogatory/curse word directed at a male, basically calling the male a masterbator  (usage:  "I hope Robert isn't on our team - he's a total wanker.")

stroppy = grumpy, angry, short-fused  (usage:  "The guys in the band were pretty stroppy after the guitarist's amp shorted out.")

bacon butty = a white bread sandwich with only bacon and butter on it - and i've been informed that it MUST be white bread  (usage:  "Stuart and Susan's daughter had clearly embraced the local dialect when she came home from school asking them to make her a "butty.")  and they say AMERICA is the fattest country in the world...

fringe = bangs (in a haircut or hair style.  usage:  "It's taking forever to grow out my fringe!")

parson's nose = a chicken's butthole  (i'm not trying to be crude here - i actually learned of this phrase on Christmas Day in a conversation with my highly proper British in-laws.)

up the duff = pregnant  (usage:  "Oh my gawd, did you hear about Diane?  She just found out she's up the duff!")

slap = makeup  ("Girls, get that slap off your faces - you look like prostitutes.")

sarnie = slang for sandwich  ("I'm starving, let's grab a couple of sarnies.")

purpose-built = custom made  (this one may seem obvious, but there it is anyway.  sample of usage:  "The new Blackberry 5100 - purpose built for Vodaphone.")

bespoke = custom made/custom fit/custom designed  (basically the same as "purpose-built," above)

chuffed = happy  ("Rick Astley was probably chuffed about being named Europe's number one musical act.")

grass = to tell on, as in ratting out a friend who's done something wrong  ("I'm gonna grass you up to the teacher.")

car boot sale = similar to garage sale  (people put their old stuff and junk in their open car "boot," otherwise known as the "trunk," and wait for people to come over and buy stuff.  they often have tables with stuff on them next to or near the actual car, and some folks do this at their own home, while other people gather in large groups in a central location so that there are many cars selling stuff in one place.)

hamper = picnic or goodie basket  (a dirty clothes holder is not called a hamper over here.  hamper is used to describe a basket full of goodies, usually edible and sometimes extravagant, like the ones Harrod's department store sells at Christmas which contain wholes ham, truffles, caviar, vodka, wine, foie gras, etc.)

sacked = fired from your job  (usage:  "If I don't get this presentation done by tomorrow I'm going to get sacked.")

naturist = nudist  (a naturist most surprisingly does NOT refer to a person who loves nature, but rather someone who likes to go around naked -- as in:  "Don't accidentally go to the naturist beach, unless you're into that sort of thing.")

slapper = slut  (usage:  "Janie looks like a slapper wearing all that makeup and stripper heels.")

spend a penny = go to the bathroom  (this perhaps comes from way back when it cost 1 pence to use a public toilet, but i'm not sure)

caught short = needing the bathroom urgently (perhaps from being caught short of the change to "spend a penny")

nick (1) = condition  (usage:  "This shirt doesn't need to be ironed, it's in pretty good nick.")

nick (2) = steal or take  (usage:  "My coworker nicked my stapler while I was out sick yesterday.")

out of hand = without even considering, as in rejecting something without consideration  (usage:  "We were invited to the Notting Hill Carnival this year but we dismissed it out of hand because of the obnoxious crowds.")

dead chuffed = highly pleased  (usage:  "Usain Bolt was probably dead chuffed with his 100m performance at the Beijing Olympics.")

bummer = homosexual person  (usage:  "George Michael turned out to be a bummer, which upset a lot of women.")

muck out = clean up  (usage:  "We'll need to muck out the garage if you want to fit two cars in there.")

wags = wives and girlfriends, mainly of footballers  (in England "footballers" are the professional "soccer" players who make a ton of money, like the NFL or NBA guys in the States, and their respective wives and girlfriends are chicks who run around town shopping and being posh all day.  some girls would aspire to be wags.  yikes...)

lippy = lipstick / lip gloss  (i've seen this used mainly in tabloid and women's fashion magazine articles and captions.  sounds kinda silly to me.)

lay-by = rest stop, as off a motor highway  (usage:  "The engine's making a funny noise - we need to find a lay-by and check it out.")

get your end away = have sex  (usage:  "What happened with that girl the other night - did you get your end away?")

poorly = sick  (usage:  "Maureen won't be coming on the field trip, she's been poorly all week.")

a tip (1) = a mess  (usage:  "The landlords came through last week to make sure the house hadn't become a total tip."

a tip (2) = the dump  (usage:  "We don't have weekly trash collection so we drive our garbage to the tip every weekend.")

hot filled roll = a hot sandwich, possibly also open-faced sandwich  (in the most recent case the "hot filled roll" listed was warm cumberland sausages in onion gravy on a roll.  they also had a "cold filled roll" section on the menu.  those items were what Americans would just call sandwiches.)

cracking = excellent, very good  (usage:  "Did you guys have fun at the races?"  "Yeah, it was a cracking time.")

spook = a spy  (usage:  "My grandfather was a Russian spook in the early years of the Cold War.")

tick = check  (usage:  "Please read the survey carefully and tick all the boxes that apply to you.")

kit = uniform, athletic or military  (usage:  "Andy's football kit was filthy after playing overtime in the pouring rain.")

niggle = pester or bother  (this is dangerously close to a highly offensive word, but i heard it on TV here.  usage:  "I don't mean to niggle you, but why do you keep looking over at the door?")

creche = day care center  (this comes from a French word meaning "infant bed," but it's used over here to refer to what Americans call a "day care center" for little kids.  usage:  "The kids will go to the creche on weekdays until they start preschool.")

ice lolly = popscicle  (this one pretty much makes sense if you think about it.  i think it's cute.)

hooter = nose  (particularly funny to me because in America "hooters" refers to women's breasts, usually large ones.)

fly-tipping = illegal dumping/littering  (this phrase can refer to a regular bag of trash or large items like an old mattress or broken refrigerator.  usage:  "There is no fly-tipping in parks and gardens.")

get your skates on = move fast / hurry up  (usage:  "If you want good tickets to the R.E.M. show you'd better get your skates on.")

nil = zero  (yes, i know "nil" is Latin for the word "nothing," but rarely have i heard it used quite so much as i have since moving to England.  no one says "the score is 14 to zero," they say "the score is 14 nil.)

draw = a tie  (usage:  "English football matches sometimes end in a draw, while American football games are played until there's a clear winner.")

dust down = brush yourself off  (usage:  "Hillary tried to pick herself up and dust herself down, but the Democratic primary had already been lost.")

bottling = losing your nerve  (usage:  "Gordon Brown was bottling last year when he failed to hold a general election.")

zed = the letter "z"  (this, of course, comes from the last letter of the Greek alphabet, zeta.  apparently the entire English-speaking world outside of the United States calls the last letter of the alphabet "zed" and not "zee."  kinda makes you wonder why we changed it.)

yob = hooligan  (usage:  "That bunch of yobs that hang out on the corner make me afraid to cross the street.")

lorry = large truck  (usage:  "The furniture lorry was so big it couldn't park in the driveway.")

a dog's dinner = a complete mess  (usage:  "Jack showed up at work looking a dog's dinner -- he must have had a rough night.")

slag off = criticize someone verbally, disparagingly  (usage:  "I got very upset when I overheard my best friend slagging me off in the bar last night.")

verruca = wart, on the foot  (the only "verruca" i ever knew in America was Veruca Salt, the spoiled little girl character in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.  now i get the writer's joke.)

cock up = a big blunder/mess  (usage:  "Hillary cocked up her chance at the Democratic nomination.")

a good job = a good thing  (usage:  "It's a good job they've got a sense of humor about things.")

skittles = bowling pins  (yeah, it's funny that "skittles" means something, but it's not the Skittles candy that i'm so used to hearing the name of back in the States...  usage:  "To get a strike you have to knock over all the skittles with your first ball.")

till = cash register (usage:  "The lady at the till forgot to give me a receipt.")

on the pull =  out looking for a hook-up (usage:  "The guys were out on the pull last night but they all went home alone.")

pull = hook-up or kiss (usage:  "I pulled a hot bird last night.")

hotpot = hot food dish of meat, onion and potato cooked in a pot all day long (i haven't eaten one yet, but it sounds like the equivalent of an American stew from a crock pot, and it's a common item on pub and restaurant menus.)

pitch = field (usage:  "There is one goalie positioned at each end of the pitch in English football.")

fool = whipped-cream-and-egg-based fruit dessert served in a dessert glass  (usage:  "I can't wait to eat Rhubarb Fool at the Holmeses house next month.")

bird = girl (i thought this was a slang left-over from the 1960s, but apparently young women are still referred to as "birds" -- much like how Americans call girls chicks.  i'm not sure why young females are associated so heavily with chickens.  wait a minute -- yes, i guess i do...)

floured bap = bun (usage:  "A hamburger is eaten on a floured bap.")

lie-in = sleeping in (usage:  "I'm looking forward to a nice, long lie-in on Saturday morning.")

post = mail (usage:  "I need to post this birthday card as soon as possible.")

hospital = the hospital (usage:  "Homer had a heart attack and is now in hospital.")

beef burger = burger (i'm not sure why a beef hamburger has to be identified as such in England.  in America a burger is generally made of beef unless otherwise specified on the menu.)

chicken burger = chicken sandwich (usage:  "I love the chicken burgers at Chik-fil-a.")

aluminium = aluminum (why did Americans abandon the second "i" in this word?  aluminium foil is the same exact thing as aluminum, or "tin" foil...)

bin = trash can (usage:  "Does the bin need to be emptied?")

courgettes = zucchini (if anyone out there knows why we have entirely different names for the same vegetable, please write in and let me know.)

porridge/Scotch oats = oatmeal (i never knew until about two weeks ago that what Little Red Riding Hood stole from The Three Bears was the same thing i had been eating for breakfast my whole life.)

sorted = mixed (this is one of the most basically confusing ones for me.  you see, when you take your recyclables to the recycling dumpster you put all of them in the same big dumpster whether they're metal, plastic or glass.  however, this combined materials dumpster is labeled "sorted recycling."  umm...  maybe it's just me.)

vest = tank top (usage:  "I wore a vest and shorts over my bathing suit.")

nappy = diaper (usage:  "The family with newborn triplets goes through a lot of nappies in one day.")

bank holiday = three day weekend (usage:  "I'm so glad it's a bank holiday, I could really use an extra day to relax.")

torch = flashlight (usage:  "Where's the torch?  The power's gone out.")

lift = elevator (yeah, i know everyone knows this one, but if i don't add it on i'll be getting emails about it from everyone.  thanks to DL for the first reminder.)

fanny = a woman's genitalia (not just in an anatomical way -- "fanny" is truly a vulgar word in England.  you know, like the p-word is in America.  this amuses me because "fanny" refers to the BACKside in America and is not vulgar at all.)

fining up = clearing up, as in the weather (usage:  "It's raining today, but it should be fining up by tomorrow morning.")

crisp = potato chip (usage:  "We should get some crisps and beer before football starts.")

fit = good looking (usage:  "That girl in the red dress is fit, but I hear she's a real bitch.")

pissed = drunk (usage:  "I got totally pissed last night -- I have a hangover from Hell.")

take the piss out of = make fun of (i'm not sure why the word "piss" makes its way into daily language so often here, but it's pretty funny.  usage:  "He thinks he's so cool, his friends have to take the piss out of him once in a while.")

ear defenders = earmuffs (i just like this one because it sounds so dramatic with the "defender" part.  usage:  "The road outside our house is so noisy we have to wear ear defenders.")

* The newest entries are at the top, not down here.